black Kebaya

Today our men from Wana Giri were off.

The reason was that one of the workers mum had just died.
To show the respect to the family and the person who just past away it is normal that you go and visit the house and pay respect.

and so did we...

I put on the black Kebaya (looks like a blouse) & black flowerly Sarong.

To keep the sarong in place you have to have this corchette on (good for the posture, but gets really hot sometimes )

We brought a envelope with some money & a bag with sugar & rice.

When we came in to the house there was probably about 100 people in the house.

All these people were there to say good bye and to show respect to the family.


For 5 days people from near & far away will come to the house.


Korea (the son), can not work during this period.
The closets family will also watch over the body and soul until you have a cermony and barry the body in the ground.
You have probably heard about cremation, but most people can not afford a cremation right away and have to wait until you collectively do a cremation to share the cost of the cremation.



When we came to the house there were alot of
suprized looks and whispering.

It is not that commen that a "Buleh" (white person) come with a Balinese in Kebaya.

Bruce went and sat with the men.

I saw one of the young girls that earlier had approach me couple of days agos. That day she was practising her english with me. Today when I saw her, she looked a little bite more shy as the whole family was staring at her.

One of the farmers approach me. His english was actually really good. He told me that he had picked up words just by talking to tourists.
He told me that he so much wanted to learn more and were hoping to sit down with more tourists and learn more new words.


Finally it was time to go. ...

We went to Puri Lumbung were we picked up Lisa & Christian.
Christian had just the previous day felt down on one knee infront of the Waterfall and proposed to Lisa.
She said YES!!




So in a small jeep the drove down the mountains and to the coastline of Pemuteran.

We left Lisa & Christian in the hands of the friendly staff of Taman Sari.

On the way back we stoped in Negara to pay for the already Palm tree that we had ordered.

You see...there is the easy and expensive way or the cheap and a little bite more complicated.
We picked the last one.

We are buying trees from the authorities.
We ordered 9 palm trees, but we finally just got 8.
The reason was that one had fallen down. According to Bruce it would give bad auro for the house if we used that wood.

This process is just a story by itself.
You have to go there in a surten time, pick the trees that you want, cut them, make wooden-pieces & finally transport them to the mountains.

Luckely we have time...and no rush


On the way back I told Bruce that my friend Roland had just past away.

Roland was a legend in Bali.
He lived more or less the last 35 years in Bali.
Who ever met him know what I talk about.
He was the funniest man you ever met and had the naughtiest sex-stories you ever heard.

Roland used to be with us when we had our tour leader -gatherings.
I still remember how Roland jumps in a red sarong, around a christmas tree and do the " Frog - dance " (See picture)

Roland boyfriend got burned during the 2002 bomb in Bali. During this period Roland was activally involved to make sure not only his boyfriends but also the rest of the victoms got the right treatment.


I had dinner with Roland one week before he past away.
He was just like he used to be.

One week later Roland got feber, started vomiting and did not survive the ambulance ride.

I got a message that it was ok to pay respect at the military hospital in Denpasar the next day at 10 am.

Bruce looked at me and say that we could try to get in tonight.
I had the black Kebaya on, so groming wise I was proper.

At 8 pm we finally reach the hospital.
We went to the part where they prepare the bodies before they get a christian funeral & get sent back home.

I do not why, but I just got blank when I got inside.
I just did not know what to say.

That moment Bruce totally took over
he spoke with a high a clear voice
-HI MR ROLAND!!! THIS IS BRICE AND INGELA. WE JUST WAS TO SAY HELLO....GOOD BYE...HAVE A NICE TIME IN PARADICE...SEE YOU SOON

Then the door closed and we walked out.

Afterwards it maid me think how we western people are scared of death and dead people and how balinese people just live with it and do not make it so complicated.

In the car Bruce looked at me and said

-I do not understand you western people! How can you leave a dead man like that.
His soul is alone. There should always be someone there with him. In Bali that would be unaccepted and if a family treated a body/soul like that he would get a very bad reputation.

Did not know what to say...



Afterwards I looked over to Bruce & said


-I want my ash to be spread in Bali.